Just had a very busy weekend filled with lots of friends and fun.
On Saturday Cathy came to town to go see Sex and The City with me (her wife refused to see it with her). I have to admit that I was not too excited to see this movie since I really didn’t like the first one, but I also realised that I would probably see it at some point and I was really looking forward to spending some time with Cathy since we don’t get a chance to see each other very often. So the verdict? I liked it! I mean, it’s not going to win any Oscars, but it was cute. Much better than the first one. I have to say there were some very cheesy parts (karaoke anyone?) but the message in this movie seemed better than the first. What really bothered me about the first movie was that after all Big did to Carrie – cheat on her, lie to her, stand her up at the altar, she still married him. That is not true love, ladies. That is low self-esteem. This one kind of shows that every relationship has bumps in the road but it’s talking about them and compromising that makes relationships work. All in all a good popcorn movie.
Later that evening I went to a Stag and Doe for two friends that are getting married in July. For those of you not reading this in Southern Ontario, a Stag and Doe is a party, usually held by the wedding party for the bride and groom in an effort to raise money for the wedding. Admission tickets are sold for about $10, then there are games, 50/50 raffles, tickets to purchase for a chance to win prizes (usually gift baskets or items purchased by friends and family and donated for the occasion) as well as music and food (generally sandwiches and salads made by the mother’s of the bride and groom). This practice is fairly standard, many of my friends have had them and I hate them.
Now, I understand the practicality of these events, and I get that weddings are expensive but I cannot find anyway to view this without the whole event being offensive to everyone involved. First, if you invite someone to your wedding you are already asking them to take a whole weekend day (usually in the summer) and devote it to you. People usually buy a new outfit, they buy you a gift, they sometimes drive from out-of-town, stay in a hotel, sometimes even pay for drinks at the wedding. All of this is great cost and effort to the guest but if you have a Stag and Doe, you are asking your guests to do all of this AND take another Saturday and spend more money on you. Essentially pay for their own space at the wedding. Worse yet, is if you aren’t even a good enough friend to get invited to the wedding but you are still invited to the Stag and Doe. This pretty much sends the message that while the bride and groom like you enough to accept your money to pay for their wedding they do not like you enough to actually pay for you to attend. My final beef with Stag and Does are people that have a destination wedding and still have a Stag and Doe. These weddings are typically very low-cost to the bride and groom ($5,000 compared to $25,000) and they are low-cost because the guests are already picking up a large portion of the bill. It typically costs a couple $3,000 to attend a destination wedding depending on the location plus whatever they might lose in wages for taking a week off work, so to ask someone to pay in addition to this cost is just plain rude.
I think that I should close by saying that I do understand why people do them, and I know that weddings can be quite costly, but I honestly believe that the wedding business as a whole has gotten out of control. Have the wedding you can afford or save for the wedding of your dreams, but if you cannot afford the wedding that you want don’t expect your friends to pick up the tab for you.